Today I ran out of pants.
Today, for the first time sinse leaving home, my travelling provisions have run short.
So now I am lieing in bed, at about lunch time, because I refuse to start going about my daily business without a pair of clean underwear on. All I can do is wait for my wash to finish. So I FINALLY have time to update the blog!
It seems that unfortunately the pattern is the more I have to write about, the less time I have to write about it, so, due to the long gap in my blogging activity you can pretty much guarantee this one's gunna be a biggin! So I suggest if you need to use the toilet you go now, and you may want to get a cup of tea aswell (as I'm aware my posts are so engrossing that once you start reading it may be hard to pull away!)
I'm going to begin with two major life accomplishments. Firstly, throwing myself head first off a 135 meter drop. Secondly, winning my first hand to hand combat with a mosquito. The bunjy jump was insane, in fact I'm not really sure how to explain it, but I'm going to give it a go.
Step 1: Being strapped into the harness. At this point the feeling just a whole lot of macho "COMMOOOOOON!!!" as the adrenaline and (I'm pretty sure) testosterone starts to pump through your veins. I never felt so manly, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was very close to sprouting chest hair.
Step 2: The "Waddle of doom"! Due to the style of the jump the bungy chord goes around your ankles so you dive headfirst. This means you don't get to do a running jump or anything. You get to waddle helplessly to the edge, and stare down into the abys your about to plunge yourself into. At this point the testosterone runs to hide and the adrenaline starts to run in overload. The knees are shaking and the sensible part of your brain starts to really regret the choice you've made.
Step 3: The first few seconds of the jump. This is all a bit of a blur to be honest. You push yourself off the platform and even before you start falling, just as you hit the off balance point where there's no return you get this awful feeling of dread. "What have you DONE!?". At that point my reasoning which went something along the lines of your fine, it's safe, they wouldn't let you jump if you would be hurt, gets drowned out by billions of years of evolution. My whole body started wriggling and there was no way I could control it. It was like every limb was determined not to die, and thought if it wriggled ridiculously enough and embarassingly enough it may just about begin to fly. All the other guys who did it before me just drifted down, still and unmoving, where as I flapped about like a dancing fish. I've decided that this means all the other people doing the jump are quitters, as their bodies had already accepted their fate, where as I'm a fighter and wasn't going down so easily!!! Either that or I'm just not half as solid as everyone else who jumped...I'm sticking with theory number 1.
Step 4: The adrenaline subsides enough for you to remember that you are safe and you really get a chance to enjoy it. The rush is incredible and your bobbing upside down in some of the most beautiful scenery in the world.
Step 5: Gettin wrinched up and having everyone point out, with photographic proof, how you had been squirming around like an idiot for the entirity of the fall.
Few! Now try and imagine all these things happening within the space of about 20/30 seconds. By the time your back on the platform there's just a very sereel fealing of, what in the world just happened?!
On to my second acheivement. The death of the mosquito! This may not seem like a big deal to many, but you have to understand that I was one of those children who couldn't stand it when animals died. I would tell my little brother off for needlessly pulling mussels off the rocks down the beach, and go crazy at the boys in my reception class who thought it funny to pull worms in half! But I'm afraid after weeks of being mauled by mosquitos and savaged by sandflies my heart has turned bitter and cruel, and the innocence that once subsided there is now gone. (I should have mentioned before beggingin this section that this is a very dark tale). So I'm in the shower at out new hostel (which serves hot chocolate pudding every evening at 8!!!) when I hear a buzzing. I stop ridding myself of the days grime and stick my head out the shower curtain, and there, shore enough, cocky as ever is the spindly legged fiend perched vertically on the wall. I quickly decide on stealth. My arm reaches down to the floor, feels around for my trusty flip flop and within 2 seconds BAM! The mosquito now looks like a veiny pattern imprinted into the wallpaper. I grin smuggly, finish showering and step out. As i begging donning my oh so snazzy spotty pajama bottoms I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. It was coming back to life! Slowly pushing itself off the wall, one spindly little leg at a time, like a bouncy castle being inflated. I completely freak out. Undead mosquitos with a taste for vengence! No thankyou! I go ninja style on it, smash it a couple more times with my flip flop and dash out of the cubicle. I was very proud of myself...
Jakes just walked in, having had a shower and asks me
"Did you use the outdoors shower?"
"Yeh"
"The one by the giant chess set"
"Yup"
"Is the mosquito about this big?" He holds out his thumb and index finger.
"Sure was" (at this point I think he's about to say it's still there, smooshed against the wall, in a proud sort of "You sure got him good" way)
..."Thats a daddy long legs"
So after my epic tale it turns out I just killed a innocent, unintelligent creature that was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could go back and delete the whole story, but I'm not going to. Mwahahah :).
We've been through Christchurch, up to Lake Tekapo, through Queenstown past the pancake rocks, along to nelson and now in Picton! I'm afraid I've misse out an awful lot! Bu I'll try very hard to write again later. I haven't eaten yet today and Jake's just brought me an avacado. NomNom!
Xxx
Today, for the first time sinse leaving home, my travelling provisions have run short.
So now I am lieing in bed, at about lunch time, because I refuse to start going about my daily business without a pair of clean underwear on. All I can do is wait for my wash to finish. So I FINALLY have time to update the blog!
It seems that unfortunately the pattern is the more I have to write about, the less time I have to write about it, so, due to the long gap in my blogging activity you can pretty much guarantee this one's gunna be a biggin! So I suggest if you need to use the toilet you go now, and you may want to get a cup of tea aswell (as I'm aware my posts are so engrossing that once you start reading it may be hard to pull away!)
I'm going to begin with two major life accomplishments. Firstly, throwing myself head first off a 135 meter drop. Secondly, winning my first hand to hand combat with a mosquito. The bunjy jump was insane, in fact I'm not really sure how to explain it, but I'm going to give it a go.
Step 1: Being strapped into the harness. At this point the feeling just a whole lot of macho "COMMOOOOOON!!!" as the adrenaline and (I'm pretty sure) testosterone starts to pump through your veins. I never felt so manly, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was very close to sprouting chest hair.
Step 2: The "Waddle of doom"! Due to the style of the jump the bungy chord goes around your ankles so you dive headfirst. This means you don't get to do a running jump or anything. You get to waddle helplessly to the edge, and stare down into the abys your about to plunge yourself into. At this point the testosterone runs to hide and the adrenaline starts to run in overload. The knees are shaking and the sensible part of your brain starts to really regret the choice you've made.
Step 3: The first few seconds of the jump. This is all a bit of a blur to be honest. You push yourself off the platform and even before you start falling, just as you hit the off balance point where there's no return you get this awful feeling of dread. "What have you DONE!?". At that point my reasoning which went something along the lines of your fine, it's safe, they wouldn't let you jump if you would be hurt, gets drowned out by billions of years of evolution. My whole body started wriggling and there was no way I could control it. It was like every limb was determined not to die, and thought if it wriggled ridiculously enough and embarassingly enough it may just about begin to fly. All the other guys who did it before me just drifted down, still and unmoving, where as I flapped about like a dancing fish. I've decided that this means all the other people doing the jump are quitters, as their bodies had already accepted their fate, where as I'm a fighter and wasn't going down so easily!!! Either that or I'm just not half as solid as everyone else who jumped...I'm sticking with theory number 1.
Step 4: The adrenaline subsides enough for you to remember that you are safe and you really get a chance to enjoy it. The rush is incredible and your bobbing upside down in some of the most beautiful scenery in the world.
Step 5: Gettin wrinched up and having everyone point out, with photographic proof, how you had been squirming around like an idiot for the entirity of the fall.
Few! Now try and imagine all these things happening within the space of about 20/30 seconds. By the time your back on the platform there's just a very sereel fealing of, what in the world just happened?!
On to my second acheivement. The death of the mosquito! This may not seem like a big deal to many, but you have to understand that I was one of those children who couldn't stand it when animals died. I would tell my little brother off for needlessly pulling mussels off the rocks down the beach, and go crazy at the boys in my reception class who thought it funny to pull worms in half! But I'm afraid after weeks of being mauled by mosquitos and savaged by sandflies my heart has turned bitter and cruel, and the innocence that once subsided there is now gone. (I should have mentioned before beggingin this section that this is a very dark tale). So I'm in the shower at out new hostel (which serves hot chocolate pudding every evening at 8!!!) when I hear a buzzing. I stop ridding myself of the days grime and stick my head out the shower curtain, and there, shore enough, cocky as ever is the spindly legged fiend perched vertically on the wall. I quickly decide on stealth. My arm reaches down to the floor, feels around for my trusty flip flop and within 2 seconds BAM! The mosquito now looks like a veiny pattern imprinted into the wallpaper. I grin smuggly, finish showering and step out. As i begging donning my oh so snazzy spotty pajama bottoms I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. It was coming back to life! Slowly pushing itself off the wall, one spindly little leg at a time, like a bouncy castle being inflated. I completely freak out. Undead mosquitos with a taste for vengence! No thankyou! I go ninja style on it, smash it a couple more times with my flip flop and dash out of the cubicle. I was very proud of myself...
Jakes just walked in, having had a shower and asks me
"Did you use the outdoors shower?"
"Yeh"
"The one by the giant chess set"
"Yup"
"Is the mosquito about this big?" He holds out his thumb and index finger.
"Sure was" (at this point I think he's about to say it's still there, smooshed against the wall, in a proud sort of "You sure got him good" way)
..."Thats a daddy long legs"
So after my epic tale it turns out I just killed a innocent, unintelligent creature that was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could go back and delete the whole story, but I'm not going to. Mwahahah :).
We've been through Christchurch, up to Lake Tekapo, through Queenstown past the pancake rocks, along to nelson and now in Picton! I'm afraid I've misse out an awful lot! Bu I'll try very hard to write again later. I haven't eaten yet today and Jake's just brought me an avacado. NomNom!
Xxx
ha ha ha! love you x
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